I am always on the go.
Spotify in my ears, podcast in the background, music running underneath everything I do. In fact, I am writing this while listening to a BTS Lofi playlist. I am not someone who sits down. I am not someone who stops. Audio is my world, it fits my life, my pace, my brain.
But V? BTS?
I watch. I rewatch. And I schedule time for them like an important client's meeting.
V was not the first one I saw. But somewhere along the way he became the first one I deeply noticed. There is a difference between the two and I think about that difference more than I probably should.
I spent most of 2025 going back to One Day. His part specifically. The way you return to something that holds something for you without being able to explain what. Month after month. His part. Again.
Then the Arirang Tour hit Mexico, Day 2, 2026.
One Day was performed live again after all these years, and goosebumps, that song just… landed. All at once. Right there.
I don't have a better word for what that made me feel like. Speechless, maybe. Yeah. Speechless.
Here is what I love about V (some of what I love of course, otherwise this diary will turn into a book) and I will just say it plainly:
He loves attention. In the most endearing, most genuinely cute way possible. He loves being loved and he does not pretend otherwise. That boxy smile when the crowd, when friends, give it to him, full face, completely unguarded. Most people would call that too much, and even for me it's too much when it comes to others. But V's? I call it refreshing. Openly. Happily.
I find that so genuinely sweet I don't even know how to describe it sometimes.
And on a big screen? Speechless. Every time. There is something about V on a big screen that does not translate until you see it. The way he holds a stage without forcing it. You just look at him and your brain stops forming sentences, maybe you start crying, maybe screaming. Just saying.
The short lives too, and the audio only ones. I have ADHD. My attention is not something I can promise I can keep for long. But V's short lives fit perfectly into how my brain actually works and I appreciate that more than he will ever know.
I don't love using the word bias. And how can I even choose in the world of BTS? It feels like a declaration and I am not really a declaration person. But if I am being honest, when I consume any content that has V in it, I fully understand why people use that word.
I made an oversized t-shirt with some of V's photos on it, made it during a time when being a K-pop fan in my surroundings felt like something to keep quiet about. I made it anyway. Wore it eventually. Wear it now without thinking twice, not because BTS became a trend, they are and that is great, but because they feel safe. V feels safe.
During The Paris Celine weekend in October I was completely glued to my laptop and phone. Watched all the lives, screamed, giggled, recreated most of his looks. Even made a sticker of the pistachio croissant he ate that weekend. A sticker. Of a croissant. And I stand by it entirely.
Slow Dancing in all its versions somehow became a pool playlist song. His shade of red became a wardrobe decision. That specific deep red. Bags, accessories, lips. V's red.
The Arirang Tour is adding life to my 2026, inspiration, laughs and tears and just knowing that they are millions of ARMY feeling the same way from different parts of the world is just bonding.
We never really know what is coming.
And I think that is actually a beautiful thing.